THE IGLESIA NI CRISTO
On Marriage and Parenting:
“God’s Law should be the
foundation of every Christian family”
SOME STEPS TOWARD SUCCESSFUL
MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE IS THE inviolable union of a man and a
woman who seek the blessings of God in a solemn religious ceremony officiated
by a minister or pastor. The contracting parties exchange vows, and once the
exchange of vows is completed, the minister proclaims the couple as man and
wife. They become no longer two but one in the sight of God.
To be truly successful in marriage, the couple
must have completely understood the requisites that constitute a good marriage.
Following is an enumeration of these requirements.
1
Love and affection must be mutual.
The first requisite of good marriage is mutual
love. The Bible requires both the husband and wife to truly love each other
before, during, and after their wedding. This was the admonition of Apostle
Paul in his epistle to the Ephesians. He wrote:
“Husbands, love your wives just as
Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.
“Men ought to love their wives just
as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (No one
ever hates his own body. Instead, he feeds it and takes care of it, just as
Christ does the church.” (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29 TEV)
Thus, the husband should love his own wife the
way he loves his own body. That love must be sincere and faithful for it is
patterned after the love of Christ for His Church. The Lord Jesus Christ
nourished and cherished the Church to the point of giving His life for her. In
the same manner, Christian husbands must shower their wives with care and
affection. Christian wives are likewise exhorted to love their husbands:
“In order to train the younger women
to love their husbands and children.” (Titus 2:4 TEV)
Hence, mutual love and affection between the
marital partners are needed toward successful marriage. Always express your
feeling with your spouse. Forever cherish and never stop loving your spouse.
2
Respect and understand each
other’s person and character.
Another element that could strengthen the
marital bond between a man and a woman is mutual respect and understanding for
each other. Respect and understanding are biblical prescriptions for a happy
marital relationship. Apostle Paul wrote that while every husband must love his
wife, every wife must respect her husband:
“However, each one of you also must
love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
(Ephesians 5:33 NIV)
In another letter it was Apostle Peter who
emphasized the need for mutual respect and proper understanding between husband
and wife. He prescribed in writing to the early Christians, thus:
“Husbands, in the same way be
considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the
weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that
nothing will hinder your prayers.” (I Peter 3:7 NIV)
Indeed both partners should consider each
other’s weaknesses and human frailties. Character deficiencies and
incompatibilities in various matters are but ordinary and normal in every
marital union. But if any of the conjugal partners would not respect or
understand the insufficiencies and frailties of his or her spouse, their
marriage bond might easily break down in the face of internal and external
pressures.
The married couple must learn to adjust to one
another. They should open themselves up to each other. It is necessary for the
married couple to be honest and transparent. This will create an atmosphere of
peace and harmony in the home.
3
Conjugal obligations should be
observed diligently.
The married couple must also recognize their
various duties and responsibilities. Basically, the union of a man to his wife
produces two kinds of responsibilities for either of them. The first category
of responsibilities that they must acknowledge and strive to do is their
conjugal obligations. Conjugal obligations are the duties and responsibilities
that husband and wife should work out together.
The Bible requires the married couple to assist
and help each other. In fact, this was one of the very reasons why God created
the first woman and instituted marriage. Genesis 2:18 records this:
“Then the LORD God said, "It is
not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help
him.” (Genesis 2:18 TEV)
Husband and wife are not only lifelong
companions. They are bound to help each other as long as they live. This could
be fulfilled if both husband and wife really love, respect, and understand each
other. With love at hand, the two will certainly do everything in their power
to provide comfort and convenience to each other. They will share in their joys
and sorrows and try to lighten up each other’s burden.
The couple should also share responsibility in
two main endeavors –the bearing of children and the rearing of
the same to become God-fearing adults. The parents must bring their children up
with Christian discipline and instruction. Apostle Paul gave the following
advice to Christian parents:
“Parents, do not treat your children
in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian
discipline and instruction.” (Ephesians 6:4 TEV)
The marriage of any married couple who fails to
instruct and discipline their children and rear them up in the true religion
can never be successful. Problem children due to the inefficiency or absence of
education and training in the Christian values can cause great stress even to
the strongest of the marital unions.
4
The Husband must earnestly provide
for his family’s needs.
Individually, the husband and wife also have
different but complementary tasks and functions in the household. The husband
was tasked by God from the earliest times to be the provider of his family:
“You will have to work hard and
sweat to make the soil produce anything, until you go back to the soil from
which you were formed. You were made from soil, and you will become soil
again.” (Genesis 3:19 TEV)
He should work hard to provide for the primary
needs of his wife and children. He must supply his family with food, clothing,
shelter, and the other amenities in life. Failure to do so, due to negligence,
is a grave sin against God according to the Bible. The Bible warns against pater
familias who fails to provide for his family’s needs:
“If any one does not provide for his
relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is
worse than an unbeliever.” (I Timothy 5:8 RSV)
Thus, anyone who is incapable of providing the
needs of his would-be spouse and children is not fit to marry. Many
irresponsible husbands or fathers who have abandoned their wives and children
are themselves to be blamed for the failure of marriage. It is, therefore, the
religious duty of a Christian husband or father to labor diligently for the
welfare of his family. A lazy husband is both a sinner in the sight of God and
an enemy of a strong and enduring marital relationship.
5
The Wife Must Submit To Her
Husband.
The wife must also make herself fully aware of
her duties to her husband and children. She should submit to her husband as to
the Lord:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your
husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22 TEV)
Christian women are forbidden to dominate their
husbands:
“Let a woman learn in silence
with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority
over a man, but to be in silence.” (I Timothy 2:11-12 NKJV)
Aside from loving and respecting her husband,
the wife should also abide by the decisions of her husband unless they run
contrary to the will of God. A good wife also provides the comfort and support
that her husband needs in times of troubles and difficulties. She inspires him
to overcome all forms of trials.
6
The wife should constantly watch
over her household.
The woman is obligated by the Bible to watch
over her children and the household. Proverbs 31:27 has this to say:
“She watches over the ways of
her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27 NKJV)
The woman must attend not only the needs of her
husband, but also her children. Being in charge of the household, the wife
should maintain cleanliness and orderliness in the home. This is in line with
Apostle Paul’s exhortation that the woman must be a good homemaker:
“To be discreet, chaste, homemakers,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be
blasphemed.” (Titus 2:5 NKJV)
Hence, even if a woman is allowed by her
husband to work and help him to make both ends meet, this does not preclude
here making their home a comfortable place to live in.
7
Husband and wife must be faithful
with each other.
Both husband and wife must be faithful to each
other. The Bible gave the following advice:
“Marriage is to be honored by all,
and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who
are immoral and those who commit adultery.” (Hebrews 13:4 TEV)
God will judge those who are immoral and those
who commit adultery, or those unfaithful to their spouse. Both must protect the
dignity and integrity of their family and maintain harmonious and peaceful
relationship among family members. Both husband and wife should refrain from
doing anything that might endanger the instability of his household. All things
that may jeopardize the trust of his spouse must be completely avoided. Both
must desist from committing sinful acts. This will ensure the success of his
marriage and of his family life.
8
Both should share in
strengthening the marital ties.
Both the husband and wife should do their share
in strengthening marital ties. The Bible also said:
“Marriage is to be honored by all…”
(Hebrews 13:4 TEV)
At the wedding, the man and woman exchange
vows. Thus, a husband is bound by the law to his wife, and the wife is bound to
the law to her husband:
“A married woman, for example, is
bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives; but if he dies, then she
is free from the law that bound her to him.” (Romans 7:2 TEV)
Hey are bound to each other as long as they
live, and only death will separate them apart. About this sacred union of
husband and wife, this what the Bible says:
“Jesus answered, "Haven't you
read the scripture that says that in the beginning the Creator made people male
and female? And God said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.' So they are no
longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined
together.” (Matthew 19:4-6 TEV)
Thus, both the husband and wife must bear in
mind that marriage is a life-long commitment. So, both of them should share in
the strengthening of their marriage. They should at all times prevent any rift
between their spouse.
The wife should not nag at her husband. She
should refrain from gossiping and idleness. She should help the husband in
making important decisions. She also should not be excessively jealous, a
fault-finder or rabid critic of her spouse. She should not criticize her
husband before other people. Instead, she should dignify him and maintain the
honor of her family at all times and at all costs. To the husband, this is what
the Bible said:
“Husbands, love your wives and do
not be bitter toward them.” (Colossians 3:19 NKJV)
In Today’s English Version, this is
what the Bible said:
“Husbands, love your wives and do
not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19 TEV)
Thus, to cause physical or emotional pain to
the wife is also a sin against God. He should consult his wife in making
important decisions. He also should not be excessively jealous, a fault-finder
or rabid critic of his spouse. He should not criticize his wife before other
people. His faithfulness and fidelity to his spouse is crucial in this regard.
He must never compromise that faith and trust with anything.
9
Pray and worship together.
Praying and worshipping together will further
strengthen the bond of husband and wife, and also their whole family. God
commanded the parents to worship Him together with their whole households:
“The LORD will choose a single place
where he is to be worshiped, and there you must bring to him everything that I
have commanded: your sacrifices that are to be burned and your other
sacrifices, your tithes and your offerings, and those special gifts that you
have promised to the LORD. Be joyful there in his presence, together with your
children, your servants, and the Levites who live in your towns; remember that
the Levites will have no land of their own.” (Deuteronomy 12:11-12 TEV)
10
Seek God’s blessings.
The love and blessings of God is the final
guarantee to a blissful marriage. To lose these is to ruin the foundation of
one’s marriage.
“Seek your happiness in the LORD,
and he will give you your heart's desire. Give yourself to the LORD; trust in
him, and he will help you; he will make your righteousness shine like the
noonday sun.” (Psalms 37:4-6 TEV)
In the end, if both husband and wife observe
their obligations which God has set for them and abide by the vows they took
during their nuptials, only then can the success of their marriage be
guaranteed.
*******
THE IGLESIA NI CRISTO
theiglesianicristo.blogspot.com
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